The silent, and often overlooked, hero

Since January, this blog has been focusing on my plight to put an end to prostate cancer, served as a journey through my fundraising activities leading up to the ZERO race on Father's Day and has become a way to promote awareness through my dad's story. Expression through writing has also served as a form of therapy for me. While I hope that all of you have been able to gain knowledge and perhaps even enjoyed reading my posts, it's way past time that the silent, and often overlooked, hero through this entire battle is now acknowledged.

But first, I need to explain a few things. It's time for a little one-on-one tutorial of the prostate because I bet most of you don't even know where it is located or its function.  Yeah, I'm a woman and I'm talking about an important part of a man's reproductive system. Get over it. I have found that women are the ones at the forefront of this disease and I am proud to be one of those women. Did you see my short but poignant interview on Let's Talk Live! on News Channel 8 on June 15? It was even mentioned then how women are taking the lead in the cause. If you haven't seen it, here's the link:

http://www.wjla.com/blogs/lets-talk-live/2015/06/zero---the-end-of-prostate-cancer-25604.html
 

Ok, here we go, people. Pay attention.

The prostate gland is shaped like a doughnut, the size of a chestnut and weighs about an ounce. It is made of 70% glandular tissue and 30% muscular tissue. The prostate sits just below the bladder, behind the pubic bone and just in front of the rectum. It wraps around the urethra which is the tube that carries urine from the bladder to the penis.

The prostate provides nourishing and protective fluid to support sperm survival and increase the chances of fertilization of the egg in a women's uterus. During ejaculation, the prostate contracts around the upper portion of the urethra, preventing urine from being released into the semen. It produces seminal plasma which is a component of semen and contains alkaline compounds to protect sperm after ejaculation into the vagina, and supplies proteins, enzymes, and minerals such as zinc and calcium to nourish sperm. The prostate gland also secretes natural compounds that stimulate contraction of the uterus to help sperm move towards the egg and increase the chance of fertilization. In essence, the secretions of the prostate gland produce nutrients sperm need for survival. Without prostate gland secretions, sperm would not be able to survive in the female reproductive tract. So, the prostate is a pretty important little gland if you are one of those people who want to have children, right?

Several conditions can affect the prostate as a man ages and most men will experience some type of prostate problem in their lifetime. The prostate gland actually continues to grow throughout a man's life but very slowly after the age of 25. Enlargement of the prostate is a normal part of the aging process and usually doesn't become a problem until about the age of 60. While an enlarged prostate is not a problem in itself, it is uncomfortable and can lead to more serious problems. Prostatitis which is inflammation, and sometimes combined with infection, of the prostate, can also be a problem and is the number one reason why men under the age of 50 visit a urologist. I, however, think that the number one reason men under the age of 50 SHOULD visit the urologist is to get a PSA test! Actually, I highly recommend you get a PSA as soon as you turn 40. While prostatitis and enlargement of the prostate may be uncomfortable and lead to other issues, prostate cancer is something that can be detected very early and I highly recommend all men have a PSA test.  The only way prostate cancer discriminates is by affecting men. Age doesn't matter anymore.  Gentlemen, give yourself a great birthday gift. It could perhaps be a gift that saves your life.

So there's the down and dirty of the prostate gland in a nutshell. Get it... nutshell. The prostate gland is the size of a chestnut. Nutshell. Ha. Yeah, stick around, there's bound to be more where that came from.

Prostate cancer is extremely difficult for a man to handle - not just the physical toll that it takes on his body, but the equally (often worse) mental toll as well. The majority of men do not want to talk about it when they are diagnosed and take on the battle privately for years because for some reason they are embarrassed, ashamed or just feel awkward.  I, unfortunately, have known many men who have suffered through this disease and treatment alone - some by choice, some not.

My dad has been fortunate since day one of being diagnosed, 19 years ago, to never have to fight this battle alone. My mother and I would never let that happen. A friend commented on how much prostate cancer research I've done lately. This hasn't been lately. I have 19 years of research and information in this brain of mine and I'm still trying to learn more. Knowledge is power.

Do you know what else is powerful to a man with prostate cancer? An amazing, selfless, devoted and loving woman by his side who will stop at nothing and sacrifice everything to keep him happy and protect him. No, I'm not talking about me. This isn't about me. Remember, it's never been about me and it sure isn't now.

I'm talking about 'til death do us part. The real 'til death do us part. Those aren't just words with no meaning. It's in those wedding vows for a reason. You speak those words because you mean it from the depth of your heart and soul.  In sickness and in health. Everyone can get through the good times together. It takes a lot of strength, love and prayers to get through the bad times.  It's not easy. There are times that are easier than others but it's definitely not easy.

This woman is by his side at all times - literally and figuratively. She boosts his confidence when he's feeling low. She finds the positive in the darkest of times even when it's the hardest thing for her to do. She bites her tongue and holds her breath when his pain and frustration causes him to not think before he opens his mouth and speaks. She makes sacrifices in her life that no one but she knows and it's sometimes hard for her to comprehend why.  She can barely remember what her life was like before him and she can't even imagine her life without him.

Even though life as they know it has changed and may never be the same again, she is focused and devoted and she makes the most of every moment with him. This woman is prayerful and God-fearing but that doesn't mean she doesn't worry and silently scream out "why!!??"  She may not even be in the best of health herself, but she finds the inner strength to conquer anything. She never complains and she never gives up hope. She often swallows her pride and puts his wants and needs before her own. While she devotes her life to making sure he doesn't feel alone, ironically, she often feels as if she is the one who is alone. She promises her love to him and assures him that they will get through this nightmare together. She is terrified most days and yet her courage is rivaled by none.

She is his caregiver.
She is the love of his life.
She is the silent, and often overlooked, hero in his battle with this coward called prostate cancer.
She is an angel on earth.
She is my mom.