We all know what "riding shotgun: means. We all have been in a position with a group of friends where we've "called shotgun" and beat someone to the passenger seat of the car so we could ride in the front. So riding shotgun pretty much refers to the practice of sitting alongside the driver in a moving vehicle. What you may not know is that the expression comes from the days of stagecoach travel and was derived from the term "express messenger". It seems as if "riding shotgun" wasn't coined until 1919 and was often used in print and film depiction of stagecoaches and wagons in the Old West in danger of being robbed or attacked by bandits. The person riding shotgun would sit next to the driver with a shotgun or rifle to provide an armed response in case they were threatened. Recently, and most importantly, the phrase "shotgun rider" has been more specifically used to refer to giving actual or figurative support to someone in a situation; watching their back.
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When I was trying to come up with a name for my team, it didn't take long. I knew it had to honor my dad. I knew it had to be unique. I knew it had to have something to do with Tim McGraw. My parents and I love Tim and always see him live when he's in town; we have for many years. In 2004, his song, "Live like you were dying" hit number one on the charts and that summer, the three of us saw Tim live. When he sang that song it was emotional right from the opening lines:
"He said: "I was in my early forties,
"With a lot of life before me,
"And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
"I spent most of the next days,
"Looking at the x-rays,
"Talkin 'bout the options and, talkin’ ‘bout sweet time."
I asked him when it sank in,
That this might really be the real end?
How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man whatcha do?
An' he said: "I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."
And he said, "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'."
So, I thought maybe I need to incorporate that song into my team name somehow. But nothing came to me. It just didn't seem to work. Then it hit me.
Tim's latest hit is called "Shotgun Rider". From the minute my parents heard it, they fell in love with it. It's a perfect love story for them. They can't imagine not being together.
Roll, won’t you come roll with me slow, fast, full speed
Girl, wherever sweet time takes us
Hang, with me down this old road
Only God knows where we’ll go
Don’t matter long as I’ve got your love
I don’t ever want to wake up,
Lookin’ into someone else’s eyes
Another voice calling me "baby"
On the other end of the phone
A new girl puttin’ on her makeup
Before dinner on Friday night
No I don’t ever wanna know
No other shotgun rider, beside me, singin’ to the radio
Slide, slide over nice and close
Lay your head down on my shoulder
You can fall asleep I’ll let you
Dream, life ain't nothing but a dream, don’t wanna be
Cruisin’ through this dream without you.
It's also a perfect name for my team to honor my dad. From the minute he was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1996, my mom and I have been by his side. Every time it has recurred, we've been right there by his side. I know more about prostate cancer than I ever imagined. But when someone I love is threatened by something, I delve into protecting them. I research, I go to doctor's appointments, I ask questions, I suggest options. Doctors are human beings. They are no different than the rest of us except they chose a different career path. I respect them but I also will challenge them if I don't agree with a form of treatment. We are responsible for our own bodies and health and it is up to us to be informed and knowledgeable. Ultimately we are in control. Doctors guide us and hopefully, it's in the right direction. Dad was fortunate enough to have an incredible oncologist, Dr. Katcher, who unfortunately retired December 31, 2014. Now that Dad's cancer has returned again, it is very upsetting to not have Dr. Katcher on the case. We have relied on him for so many years and I have learned so much from him.
I can't take my dad's cancer away. I can't take my dad's pain away. I can't take his medicine for him. I can't take his treatment for him. There are things I can do though and I will do them the best way I know how. I can love him. I can support him. I can listen to him. I can arm myself with knowledge and do my best to help him and the doctors.
But all of that doesn't seem like enough. I need to be productive. I need to feel as if I am helping; making a difference. I need to focus on what I can control so that I don't downward spiral into a depth of emotional solitude. That is why I decided to participate in the ZERO walk. But just walking wasn't enough. I needed to do more so I decided to form a team and recruited three people immediately - Gloria, Maurine and Jason. Everyone wants to help and I am so grateful to have such incredible people in my life. I immediately started surrounding myself with those people I love, who love me and who love my dad.
We will support and honor my dad as "Denny's Shotgun Riders". There is no where I'd rather be than by my dad's side, riding shotgun, supporting him and fighting prostate cancer with him. I've got his back now and always. No matter what happens. Each person who joins our team also makes that commitment and shows their support as one of his shotgun riders as he fights prostate cancer yet again. We've always been there but now it's about physically showing it.
Creating a team and recruiting some of my favorite people wasn't good enough though. I want to raise as much money as I possibly can for this cause. I don't think prostate cancer awareness is given enough publicity which is a damn shame. October overwhelmingly turns pink each year and I'm all for it. Unfortunately, many of my friends, male and female, have had and/or are currently fighting breast cancer. But why can't we do the same for prostate cancer and turn September blue?
I decided to have a goal of recruiting 5 team members because Dad's cancer has come back 5 times. I set a fundraising goal of $1,900 because this year marks 19 years that Dad was diagnosed. I believe that I will be able to surpass both of those goals and am almost there. When I raised $250 I found out that Denny's Shotgun Riders will have a lawn sign placed along the walk route the day of the race. I then found out if I raise $2,500 within 6 weeks of the race date, we'll be able to get our team name on the back of our race shirts. That right now is my goal. I only need $1,000 more and I have a little over four months to get there. I'm not stopping there though. The more money I can raise the better.
I'm lucky enough to have such a good friend in Arthur, the owner of my happy place, and he's allowed me to hold a fundraiser for the team in April. I am going full-speed ahead in gathering donated items from businesses to raffle and auction off. I want to make this event prosperous fundraising wise, but I also want to be able to gather everyone together who cares and wants to help. With each hug, with each offer of support, with each "You're not alone" or "We're in this together" we receive, my heart is touched and I am so humbled.
Being one of Denny's Shotgun Riders means that we've got his back. It means we love him and we will do everything we can to support him through this battle. I, honestly, can't imagine anywhere I'd rather be.
