Faces of prostate cancer - the men for whom I run...

Prostate cancer is the second leading death of cancer among men. 240,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer each year and 30,000 others lose their lives. Odds are that you know someone who has had prostate cancer, is battling the disease right now or has unfortunately succumbed to the disease. If you haven't been touched by prostate cancer, congratulations, but odds are, unfortunately, you WILL know someone in your lifetime. 


Having a 20-year prostate cancer survivor as my father, I know more about this disease than I ever would have imagined. I am by no means an expert, but I know what works and doesn't work in Dad's case and I have been and always will be his advocate.


Obviously, the reason why I am involved with ZERO, why I beg for money and why I raise awareness is for my dad. But it is also for many other men in my life or in my friends' lives. This Sunday, when I race at the ZERO 2016 Prostate Cancer Run/Walk it will be first and foremost to honor my dad but also to honor or memorialize these men as well:
Willie L. Sitton, “Poppy”, “Uncle Bill”

Poppy is the father of my dear friend, Gloria, and my "South Carolina Daddy". The first time I met him, we instantly connected and I knew this was a genuine and special man with which I was conversing - the epitome of a downhome, traditional, Southern gentleman.

In November 2014, at the age of 81, Poppy was diagnosed with prostate cancer.  He was diagnosed during a routine checkup in which his PSA had risen significantly since his prior checkup.  An MRI was then conducted and cancer was confirmed. The tumor was so small that Poppy's doctor recommended intense radiation for a month and a half instead of surgery, which at his age would have been more dangerous than the cancer itself. After deciding to take prostate cancer head on, I am proud to say that on May 19, 2015, Poppy had his last radiation treatment and rang the bell at the finish line! Poppy is a perfect example of how routine checkups are important and early detection is key!  He is continuing with hormone therapy and is on medicine for nausea and another to relax the prostate area. Poppy is an example of how we should never give up!

"The race is not a sprint. It's a marathon! Keep going!"
Farrell Thomas

In 2013, Farrell, Gloria's cousin by marriage and part of my South Carolina family, was diagnosed at the young age of 42 with a PSA of 5. (For a point of reference, my dad was diagnosed at the age of 47 with a PSA of 26.)  Farrell's doctor told him he had not seen many men as young as he diagnosed with prostate cancer.  Farrell had robotic surgery to remove the prostate and his PSA has been 0 ever since! He is a perfect example of how prostate cancer can affect any man - regardless of age - and how early detection is key! Farrell continues to have PSA tests every six months and is thankful to God for his recovery and for the support of his incredible wife, Gina.

Tony Wilson

I met Tony when he was 36 years old back in 1996. Tony was full of life, athletic and a devoted father of two young boys. Tony was part of my everyday life when my dad was initially diagnosed with prostate cancer. 

About a year after we met, Tony moved to Colorado and while we kept in a touch for a while, it wasn't long before life got in the way and we lost touch for many years.  Three years ago, our paths crossed again and I was shocked and sad to hear that he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer in October of 2011 at the age of 51. At the time of diagnosis, Tony was only four years older than my dad at his time of diagnosis and my heart shuddered to think that he had gone through this battle at such a young age and alone.

When Tony was diagnosed, his PSA was 46! He endured hormone therapy and Cyberknife radiation treatments - five directly to the prostate and 23 to the surrounding lymph nodes. His treatment was completed in March 2012 and he has had negative PSAs ever since. He's physically doing well, is appreciative of every day that the Lord has given him and wholeheartedly believes in the power of prayer.

Glenn Poe

Natalie, my friend and Glenn's daughter, was happy to share his story with me. Glenn was diagnosed in 1992 at the age of 54. His prostate cancer was diagnosed through a routine checkup and he had a PSA of 4.5.

Glenn was told that if his cancer was inoperable he had five to six years to live and if it was operable he had 10 to 12 years to live.  Glenn has surpassed the doctor's expectations because he is now 78 years old!

He endured radiation and surgery in which his urologist said the cancer was well contained and he was able to "get it all".  Twenty-four years later, Glenn is still cancer free and continues to have a PSA of 0.1! He has always had an unshakeable fear of the 10-12 year survival comment and while now feeling physically healthy, he remains heartbroken over the loss of his amazing wife to ovarian cancer in December 2012.  Natalie attributes her father's survival to early detection which yielded great results!

Lou Manne

Lou, my friend Adam's dad, was diagnosed at the age of 80 by way of a routine blood test during his annual physical.  Lou endured radiation and chemotherapy with his last treatment being in December 2014. A native, New Yorker, Lou now enjoys life between living in Las Vegas and Bali, Indonesia. Once he got a clean bill of health in the U.S., he couldn't wait to go back to Bali and enjoy the good life again! I can't blame him! He will continue follow up appointments and routine PSAs when he returns to Vegas.

 Gary Pugh

I've known Gary for the majority of my life. I grew up with

his daughter, Kari, and his son, Casey. Their mother, Sheila, was my mom's best friend and my "second mom" until we unfortunately lost her in November 2003. 

In 2013, Gary's PSA slowly started to increase but was still only at a 2.5. His doctor suggested Gary see a urologist when it was at 4.5 at which time a biopsy was conducted. In September 2014, Gary was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the age of 67. In February 2015, he opted to have surgery to remove the prostate to hopefully eliminate the risk of his cancer returning.

Ironically, his urologist is the protégé of my dad's urologist who diagnosed him back in 1997. Gary is in great hands because Dr. Desai is a mini me of Dr. Lou and extremely proactive! Another example how early detection and a proactive doctor is key!

Bill

In 2003, at the age of 71, Bill's PSA was a 5 and had symptoms of problematic urination. His doctor recommended a biopsy which confirmed prostate cancer and that same year Bill had a radical prostatectomy. In 2004, Bill's PSA started to increase again. A small spot was found and he went through radiation. I'm happy to say he has been cancer free ever since with a PSA of 0.1.

Clarence R. Moore

Clarence is my dad's grandfather who was diagnosed in the 1960s with prostate cancer had cobalt radiation treatment because it was the only option at that point in time. He was a master electrician and died in 1968. I, unfortunately, was not able to meet my great grandfather who my dad remembers fondly. I feel he passed on many of his genuine traits to his great grandson.

Art Campbell

I never got the pleasure of meeting Art, but I often feel as if I know him through his son. Art was diagnosed with prostate cancer with a PSA in the single digits but it slowly increased over time. After radiation and chemotherapy, it eventually metastasized to the bone and caused much pain in the pelvic area and broken bones.  At the age of 83, Art lost his battle as a result of prostate-cancer related complications.
The following are additional men who have been affected by prostate cancer for whom I vowed to walk. Unfortunately, I have not been given photos or stories but will share what I know.

I will also be racing in honor or memory of the following men:

• Avery Williams, survivor and friend
• Ron DeFreitas, survivor and friend, currently undergoing chemotherapy and radiation
• the father of my cousin, Gail Moore
• the father of my friend, Nancy Kotney
• the father of my friend, Paula Calvin
• Robert Pearles, the grandfather of Kerri Beroza (Certified Specialist of Wine, Ingleside Vineyards)
• Ron Klebacher, father of my friend, Honora Klebacher - survivor of prostate (and colon) cancer
• the father of Laura Brletic (owner of Confections Cupcakery)
• Tony Keyes, four year survivor and husband of Dawn Keyes (Old Hickory Golf Club)
• Gerry Moore, survivor and father of my high school friend, Jenny
• Sy Estep, maternal grandfather of my favorite guy

Rob Harris

While Rob did not have prostate cancer, I am adding him to my list of men for whom I walk because: 1) he was the son of a very good friend of mine; and 2) the way he fought his battle is one that should be showcased and admired.  On November 29, 2015, Rob was diagnosed with metastatic adenocarcinoma, characterized as Stage 4 small cell lung cancer.  His prognosis for survival without chemo was 3-6 months and with chemo and radiation was a year. Rob was not satisfied with simply extending his life while enduring the ravages of traditional chemo and radiation. After much research and soul searching, he decided to fight this disease with a non-traditional approach - starting with a complete raw diet of organic vegetables and fruit to detoxify his body followed by treatment protocols including immunotherapy and was gone for over a month.. abroad.  (Check out www.gersontreatment.com for more info.) 

I am horribly sad to say that Rob lost his valiant battle to cancer on March 24, 2016; never giving up, always staying positive and doing it HIS way. In the words of his heartbroken father, and one of my favorite people, Bob, "During the last month, he was in horrible pain. But, to talk with him, you would never have known it. Positive and upbeat until the end. He was actually thanking all the nursing staff for all that they did until hours before he passed away. Rob was an amazing and thoughtful person who loved his family, loved his son unconditionally, loved life and lived it to the fullest, and was an unwavering friend." May we all learn from Rob and remain Harris Strong!

Through me, these men will never be alone, will never be forgotten and they will continue to have a voice.

It's not too late to make a donation and help me put an end to this wretched disease!  2.8 million men are diagnosed with prostate cancer every year!! Please help me create Generation Zero!


http://support.zerocancer.org/site/TR/RunWalk/RunWalk16?px=1102458&pg=personal&fr_id=1082 

Blessings abound

It's been a while since I've updated everyone and perhaps it was because after an incredibly successful fundraiser in April, I needed to decompress. I am ecstatic to say that I had over 80 people in attendance and more donated raffle, silent auction, and door prizes than last year. As a result, I raised over $6,000 and there are so many people to thank. For fear of inadvertently missing someone, I'm not going to state names. You know who you are - you were there. You bought cupcakes, you bought raffle tickets, you bid on silent auction items, you drank wine and you supported my family in a way that cannot compare! For that, and so much more, I thank you.

I am almost at my goal of $12,500 and I have 11 days to go! So that means there is still plenty of time for you procrastinators to donate! You thought that you were off the hook, huh? Yeah, not so much. I will never stop trying to put an end to this disease!  Here's the link to make a donation: http://support.zerocancer.org/site/TR/RunWalk/RunWalk16?px=1102458&pg=personal&fr_id=1082
More important than the money and the awareness I am raising is the fact that Dad is finally healing! You may recall that his last chemo was December 30, 2015. We decided to take a chemo vacation because his body was extremely weak and could not take anymore. While chemo was killing the cancer, it had begun to lose its effectiveness because the PSA started to slowly rise again. More detrimental than that was the fact that chemo was starting to do more harm to Dad than good. The poison needed to cease.

One would think when you stop chemo, you would start feeling better soon, right? Wrong. Just because you stop pumping poison into your body every month doesn't mean that the poison disappears. The effects don't disappear either. Over the last six months, I have been watching my dad slowly deteriorate. He hasn't been suffering because of the cancer though. He's been suffering at the hand of chemo.  Chemo has caused him to walk with a cane (if he walks at all) because his feet hurt so bad from nerve pain. Chemo has caused him to stop eating and lose weight at a pound a week because his gums were badly infected, his teeth are loose and it is extremely painful to bite. Chemo has caused him extreme fatigue and exhaustion just by sitting in a chair. Chemo has caused him to go back on oxycodone every three to four hours because the constant head and mouth pain is horrendous. Chemo has caused his personality to diminish because he is living in complete misery. He doesn't engage in conversation and  he suffers through continuous pain getting frustrated because he has no energy or strength to do the simplest of tasks. Chemo brain caused him to act erratically and I can't even begin to tell you how much my mom resembles a pure angel.  Chemo changed my dad.  I would see him but I wouldn't know him. That man who looked like my dad wasn't my dad anymore.

He has been blessed with advice from a nutritionist over the last few months and I taught Mom how to make smoothies so Dad would get the calories and good fat that he needs to put weight back on or at least to help him stop losing. Hesitant at first because who in their right mind wants to drink green stuff, it didn't take long for him to jump on the green smoothie bandwagon and that started to help. Then one morning, in late May, he was able to get into the periodontist. That's when things started to change.

Within three days of being put on two different antibiotics and a medicated mouthwash, Dad's mouth pain was just about gone!! The man who has been sitting in a chair, sucking down narcotics, barely eating and holding his face in his hands in pure misery day in and day out talked to me on the phone for two straight hours! One night, he was afraid that mom would complain because she was trying to sleep and he wouldn't stop talking! On June 1, we celebrated his birthday at his favorite local Mexican restaurant and he not only carried on a conversation with us the entire time but he even started them! We spent more time with him at home opening presents and he even jumped up and started screaming at the tv because of the exciting Nats baseball game!  I was in awe and almost couldn't believe my eyes.  I looked at Dad and said, "Welcome back, buddy!" The defining moment; however, was when I went to leave my parents' house that night.

For as long as I can remember, when I leave, my mom and dad stand on the front porch waving until I drive out of sight. I can't remember the last time my dad even got up out of his chair to say goodbye much less came outside. That night, June 1, I sat in my car, turned around to look at the house as I was backing out and the biggest smile came across my face. My parents - both of them - my mom AND MY DAD - were standing on the front porch waving goodbye to me. You'd think it was my birthday and not Dad's because I got the best present of all that night!

I'm pleased to say that Dad has been improving more and more each day. In his 45 years of practice, the periodontist said he's never seen someone respond to antibiotics and heal so quickly! We thought he may have to pull Dad's loose teeth but now that may not even have to occur. Chemo caused his gum line to pull away from his teeth, but it may grow back in time. We'll try to be patient and see what happens over the next few months. Bottom line is my dad's personality is back, the infection and mouth pain are gone and he hasn't had to take oxycodone in almost a week!

Every day is a gift. Every good day is a blessing. When you have nothing but bad days for six months straight, a string of good days culminating in a week is an absolute miracle.

Thank you all for your continued prayers. Please keep 'em coming! We have been through the valley and it was very dark. But we've seen the light at the end of the tunnel. While it's a very long tunnel, that slightest hint of light is making all the difference.

What your friends with cancer want you to know but are afraid to say....

I posted this last year as a result of it resonating with my dear friend, Peggy, who we lost a year ago February after a valiant fight with breast cancer.  She thanked me for posting the article to Facebook because it said everything she was feeling but didn't know how to say. I find it very appropriate to post it again in light of the hell that my dad is going through with prostate cancer.


Please take a few moments to read this and really take it to heart. Until you have encountered a cancer diagnosis and battle of your own or are a caregiver to a cancer warrior, you really have no idea how it feels. 

****

What your friends with cancer want you to know (but are afraid to say)
-Kim Helminski Keller (a Dallas-based mom, wife, teacher and journalist who is currently receiving treatment for thyroid cancer.)

People with cancer are supposed to be heroic.
We fight a disease that terrifies everyone.
We are strong because we endure treatments that can feel worse than the actual malignancies.
We are brave because our lab tests come back with news we don’t want to hear.



The reality of life with cancer is very different from the image we try to portray. Our fight is simply a willingness to go through treatment because, frankly, the alternative sucks. Strength? We endure pain and sickness for the chance to feel normal down the road.  Brave? We build up an emotional tolerance and acceptance of things we can’t change. Faith kicks in to take care of the rest.
The truth is that if someone you love has cancer, they probably won’t be completely open about what they’re going through because they’re trying so hard to be strong. For you.

However, if they could be truly honest and vulnerable, they would tell you:

1. Don’t wait on me to call you if I need anything.  Please call me every once in a while and set up a date and time to come over. I know you told me to call if I ever needed anything, but it’s weird asking others to spend time with me or help me with stuff I used to be able to do on my own. It makes me feel weak and needy, and I’m also afraid you’ll say “no.”

2. Let me experience real emotions. Even though cancer and its treatments can sometimes influence my outlook, I still have normal moods and feelings in response to life events. If I’m angry or upset, accept that something made me mad and don’t write it off as the disease. I need to experience and express real emotions and not have them minimized or brushed off.

 

3. Ask me “what’s up” rather than “how do you feel.” Let’s talk about life and what’s been happening rather than focusing on my illness.

 

4. Forgive me.  There will be times when the illness and its treatment make me “not myself.” I may be forgetful, abrupt or hurtful. None of this is deliberate. Please don’t take it personally, and please forgive me.

 

5. Just listen. I’m doing my very best to be brave and strong, but I have moments when I need to fall apart. Just listen and don’t offer solutions. A good cry releases a lot of stress and pressure for me.

 

6. Take pictures of us. I may fuss about a photo, but a snapshot of us can help get me through tough times.  A photo is a reminder that someone thinks I’m important and worth remembering. Don’t let me say “I don’t want you to remember me like this” when treatment leaves me bald or scarred.  This is me, who I am RIGHT NOW. Embrace the now with me.

 

7. I need a little time alone.  A few points ago I was talking about how much I need to spend time with you, and now I’m telling you to go away.  I love you, but sometimes I need a little solitude. It gives me the chance to take off the brave face I’ve been wearing too long, and the silence can be soothing.

 

8. My family needs friends. Parenting is hard enough when your body is healthy; it becomes even more challenging when you’re managing a cancer diagnosis with the day-to-day needs of your family. My children, who aren’t mature enough to understand what I’m going through, still need to go to school, do homework, play sports, and hang out with friends. Car-pooling and play dates are sanity-savers for me. Take my kids. Please. My spouse could also benefit from a little time with friends. Grab lunch or play a round of golf together. I take comfort in knowing you care about the people I love.

 

9. I want you to reduce your cancer risk. I don’t want you to go through this. While some cancers strike out of the blue, many can be prevented with just a few lifestyle changes – stop smoking, lose extra weight, protect your skin from sun damage, and watch what you eat. Please go see a doctor for regular check-ups and demand follow-up whenever pain, bleeding or unusual lumps show up. Many people can live long and fulfilling lives if this disease is discovered in its early stages. I want you to have a long and fulfilling life.

 

10. Take nothing for granted. Enjoy the life you have right now. Take time to jump in puddles, hug the kids, and feel the wind on your face. Marvel at this amazing world God created, and thank Him for bringing us together.

 

While we may not be thankful for my cancer, we need to be grateful for the physicians and treatments that give me the chance to fight this thing. And if there ever comes a time when the treatments no longer work, please know that I will always be grateful for having lived my life with you in it. I hope you feel the same about me.

I'll be your man

On Saturday, April 15 and Sunday, April 16, my favorite guy and I were at the Zac Brown Band's Southern Ground Food and Music Festival in Charleston, South Carolina. Being huge lovers of food and music, we had been planning and eagerly awaiting this trip for months!

While we joined in the Woodstock-like barrage of fans all day and night Saturday, we splurged and enjoyed "the good life" on Sunday with stage box/front porch seats. 

I could go on and on about our trip to Charleston, the food and drink we shared, the sights we saw and the two-day festival but I'll save that for another time.  While my man has seen his favorite band numerous times, I have only seen the ZBB a total of four times. However, in each instance, I am continually impressed and become more of a fan. I have my favorite songs, of course, and I must say I was beyond ecstatic when the band performed "Free" and walked down our catwalk. To my surprise and delight, the fiddle player, Jimmy, stopped right in front of me and played my entire favorite song!

There were a multitude of magical moments that night - from being served a gourmet meal by famous chefs, enjoying an open bar, having seats on the stage to being able to grab Zac's hand as he walked past me to the cheering crowd below to having my man's arms around me and seeing that smile of sheer joy on his face that melts me every time.

But there is one moment that tore at my heartstrings and is a memory I will never forget.  While I have heard this song plenty of times and even experienced it live last year while in the pit at Nats Park, it never hit me like it did this Sunday night in South Carolina.

Along with Clay (a member of Zack's band), Eric Church (another favorite musician of mine) and two others, Zack wrote "I'll be Your Man (Song for a Daughter)".

As I stood there, singing along with every word, tears started to instantly roll down my face.

Was it because the friends we were hanging out with were a father/daughter pair?

Was it because I longed to have my dad with us?

Was it because the music itself is so beautiful and the words even more heartfelt?

Was it because I yearn for the day that the man I love would express those same words to our daughter?

Was it because it reminded me of my incredibly loving childhood and how my dad was not only the first man to love me but the one who continues to unconditionally love me?

Was it because, through all the heartbreak in my life, my dad is always there to hold me tight and make it all better?

Was it because, no matter what happens in this life, I know my dad will always be there for me cheering me on?

Was it because I could connect to the sheer simple love and devotion resonating from every word?

Was it because I instantly heard my own dad singing these words to me?

Yes, it was.

I’ll Be Your Man (Song For A Daughter)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w6fhlw_VnM

You’re gonna make
The finest mama some day
Some man will take you away
But until then

Chase down your dreams
Laugh all the time and believe
That love’s gonna conquer all things
So until then, I’ll be your man

There was a time when
I thought I knew love
Until you came into this world
Time keeps on flying
But you’re always
Gonna be my baby girl

So as you walk
Through this life you will see
The world’s what you want it to be
But until then

Go on and dance
Dance like there’s no one around
Never stop singing out loud
And until then, I’ll be your man

There was a time when
I thought I knew love
Until you came into this world
Time keeps on flying
But you’re always
Gonna be my baby girl

Go have a ball
Take every chance that you may
You know I’ll be one call away
I’ll always be, I’ll always be your man

Hold on child
Hold on tight to your old man
Hold on child
Hold on tight to your old man

I’m gonna hold you tight
Under my wing long as I can
Hold you tight
Under my wing long as I can

(Sweet child of mine)
Hold on tight to your old man
Hold on child
(Hold on tight)
Hold on tight to your old man

Hold you tight
(I’m gonna hold you tight)
Hold on tight to your old man
Hold you tight
(Hold on tight)
Under my wing long as I can

 

I later found out, that while I was sobbing my face off, my new friend asked my favorite guy if I had lost my dad. He explained that dad was fighting his fifth recurrence with prostate cancer and it was the worst yet.  She then turned to her dad who was standing next to her and thanked him "for everything".  When the song ended, she simply came over to me and hugged me with no words spoken and I clung on to her as if she'd disappear when I let go. She was obviously sent to me for a reason. The stranger I had met earlier that day who was sharing this once-in-a-lifetime experience with me was an oncology nurse in New Orleans! Divine intervention, no doubt.

I have always believed that people are brought into your life for a reason. Since my ladybug passed three years ago, I know for a fact that she has had a hand in delivering many important people to me and I am forever grateful.  The dedicated, supportive and encouraging people in my ZERO family are included in that group. Not only have they served as a way for me to fuel my passion but are truly genuine, passionate human beings.
 
I can't even begin to express the "extent of fantastic" that I experienced those four days with the love of my life in South Carolina. I was able to escape life for a while and "just be" without any effort at all. But the one moment that was truly a magical gift of the heart was standing outside in the warm South Carolina air, with the man who holds my heart by my side, listening to Zack Brown singing my dad's lullaby to his precious baby girl.


Don't worry, Dad. I'll always be your baby girl.
I'll always hold on tight to my old man. It's the least I can do.

Raffle and Silent Auction Items List!

A week from tomorrow is "fundraiser day" and I couldn't be more excited (and maybe a tad bit anxious)! I am ecstatic to say that 55 people have signed up and paid for their entry in advance!! I cannot thank you all enough! While the deadline to purchase tickets early has ended, do not fret, because you'll be able to pay at the door the night of the fundraiser. I would suggest you come early because I have a lot of items and fun things in store! You won't want to miss a minute!

Keeping in mind how many raffle and silent auction items I have received, here is your chance to make the most of your time at the fundraiser because you have a head's up on what will be offered! (Yes, I'm one who loves to plan ahead!)

Remember, I can only accept cash and checks for the $31 admission fee and for raffle tickets and silent auction bid winners.  There is an ATM machine across the street from Winestyles for your convenience. However, keep in mind bottles of wine and additional glasses of wine/beer may be purchased with a credit card, if you prefer.






RAFFLE AND SILENT AUCTION TEMS 

• Ornery Beer Company and Public House gift cards               
• Glory Days Grill gift cards              
• Confections Cupcakery gift certificate                                               
• Bittersweet Catering Café and Bakery gift card                                    
• Tour and Tasting Certificates at Murlarkey Distillery in Bristow
• Wine glasses and tastings at Vint Hill Craft Winery
• Gift Certificate for Pet Communication Session       
• Handmade wine bottle wind chimes
• Handmade Harry Potter gift box
• Set of five handmade thank-you cards
• Party Lite Hanging Votive Candle Holder
• Party Lite Nautical Jar Candle and Holder
• Tasting Certificates at Barrel Oak Winery in Delaplane
• Mason Dixon Café gift card
• Three-Class Pass at Soaring Spirit Yoga Studio
• BBQ Sandwich gift cards from Dixie Bones
• Authentic Autographed Photo of Washington Wizards Forward Kelly Oubre #12
• Crocheted baby blanket by local artist
• Various pieces and sets of handmade wheel thrown stoneware pottery by local artist
• One-of-a-kind handmade earrings by local silversmith
• Chiropractic office visit, consult and exam gift certificates
• 30-Minute Massage gift certificate
• Authentic Autographed hockey puck by Washington Capitals Mike Weber (NO LONGER AVAILABLE. WON BY AN ONLINE BIDDER 4/26)
• Thirty-One Gifts tote bags
• Premier tasting and tour for 4 at Potomac Point Winery in Stafford
• Gift card and beer from Adroit Theory Brewing Company in Purcellville
• Private wine cellar tasting for 4 at Chateau O'Brien at Northpoint Winery in Markham
• 45 minute mediumship/life guidance session with Barb Mallon, psychic medium
• Gift Basket from Adventure Brewing Company in Stafford including a t-shirt, glasses, growler and brewery credit
• Autographed Bottle of Roundstone Rye Whisky 92 Proof
• Handmade jelly roll quilt
• Two-night stay at a 1960s renovated bungalow in the Outer Banks of North Carolina
• Certificate for a custom hand-painted pet portrait from Woof's Meow Art Studio
• Gift card from Bistro L'hermitage in Occoquan
• Tasting Certificate and Cheese Platter from Blue Valley Vineyard in Delplane
• Certificate for two free guitar lessons
• Private Collection box of SJ9 cigars
• Washington Nationals baseball tickets
• DC United soccer tickets
• Pole Party certificate for up to 10 people
• "Girls Night In" basket
• Private tour and wine and cheese reception at Ingleside Vineyards in Oak Grove
• Jack Brown's Tattoo Revival gift certificate
• Monks BBQ gift card
• Jon David Salon gift card
• Nandos Peri Peri Restaurant gift basket
• Occoquan Inn and Tavern gift certificate for brunch
• Private tasting and tour for 8 at Old Bust Head Brewery in Warrenton
• Private tasting and tour for 12 at Port City Brewing Company in Alexandria, including a growler, growler fill and glasses
• Gift basket from Otium Cellars in Purcellville including a wine bag, glasses and tasting certificate for four
• Gift certificate for a photography session
• Gift certificate for a Reiki session
• Southern Threads for Heads handmade beanies
• Tin Cannon Brewing Company gift basket including a gift card, mini growler and glasses
• Beachbody Fitness package
• Washington Redskins 2015 Laser Engraved Team Autographed football
• Certificate for Greens fees at Old Hickory Golf Club
• Gift basket from Pearmund Cellars in Broad Run including a bottle of wine, glasses and tasting certificates
• Taste of Oklahoma gift basket

OTHER ITEMS 

• All guests will have the opportunity to win prizes throughout the evening!
• A local baker, Melissa Landon, is donating delicious "Cupcakes for the Cause" which will be displayed and sold for $1 each with all proceeds going to the Denny's Shotgun Riders team.

Don't forget to refer back to previous blog posts for information on the logistics of the fundraiser and also on specific businesses/items that will be available.

http://dennysshotgunriders.blogspot.com/2015/04/things-you-need-to-know-about-fundraiser.html

Thanks for your interest!  We can't wait to see you on April 28!

 

Important things to know about the fundraiser!

1.   If you have purchased a "ticket" in advance, you will receive a letter the week of April 18 with instructions. Please make sure to wear your wristband and bring your free drink ticket with you the night of the event. Extras will not be provided. Wearing your wristband will enable you to gain entry without having to stand in line. Please be patient with my friends who have graciously agreed to volunteer as my "money collectors" and "greeters".  
2.   For those of you who will be paying at the door on the night of the event, it will help move things along quicker if you have $31 in exact cash or if you have a check written out payable to "Valerie Moore".  You will need to sign in, provide payment and then receive you wristband and free drink ticket.  We appreciate your patience should there be a line when you arrive. Please note: The extra $5 from the advance ticket price will go directly to the cause.
3.  Regardless of how or when you pay, you MUST wear your wristband at all times during the event. This is an indication - to me and to the wonderful Winestyles staff that you have paid and are eligible for all of the event's perks.
4.  Make sure to walk up to the bar/register area to redeem your "free drink" ticket for one glass of wine or beer. Winestyles staff will collect your ticket for accountability purposes. For wine drinkers, there will be a pre-selected assortment of wines for you to choose from for your one free glass. For beer drinkers, since there is a smaller selection, you are able to choose from any of the three on tap or any of the non-oversized bottles provided in the case near the French doors.
5.  Heavy hors'douvres will be provided for all guests right inside of the French doors on your left as you enter the wine bar. To save space, our food will be set up on the Giorgios restaurant side. Please keep in mind that Giorgios is still open for business and be courteous to those customers and wait staff.
6.  Tax and tip is included in your entry fee but if you feel my friends at Winestyles have done a wonderful job of serving you at the event, please don't hesitate to give them a little extra. There is a tip jar at the wine counter by the register.
7.  If you haven't been to Winestyles, keep in mind that it's not a large place. Because it is in a strip mall, it also does not have an overabundance of parking.  Just make sure that you don't park illegally! We aren't responsible if you're towed or ticketed.
8.  Please dress comfortably. While there will be some seats, this is not a seated event. This also is not a pretentious "fancy-pants" event.  Come as you are and come ready to have fun, support my parents and raise some money for an incredible non-profit organization by way of the Denny's Shotgun Riders team!

Stay tuned to this blog for more updates and a listing of raffle and silent auction items. We will also have interactive door prizes where everyone will have a chance to win!

Thank you for being part of this second annual event! We can't wait to see you on the 28th!

You have bought a ticket to a fundraiser!

You have bought a ticket to a fundraiser. The main goal is to raise money. I am raising money for the non profit in which I feel very strongly. ZERO's mission is to end prostate cancer! I share that same mission and while the money I raise may not be able to directly help my dad at this stage, it will help other men and enable us to realize Generation Zero sooner rather than later. My dad has battled this disease for 20 years with the last two years being the worst struggle yet. I don't want any other man to have to endure this battle.

You have bought a ticket to a fundraiser. I have approximately 50 raffle items and silent auction items. I am excited about the incredible items that have been donated from such a wide array of individuals and businesses for this cause. My goal is obviously to reach the value of each of these items and in some cases surpass the value. While I want each of you to enjoy these items and hopefully some of you will even get a "good deal", the point is to raise money first and if you get a good bang for your buck good for you! So bring lots of cash and open up those checkbooks! More importantly, open up your hearts!

You have bought a ticket to a fundraiser. You have also bought a ticket to a night full of fun, laughs, good food and drink, family and friendship. You have bought a ticket to spend a couple of hours showing an incredible man the overwhelming support he has surrounding him as he fights the battle of his life. While I may lead the official Denny's Shotgun Riders team, each one of you who bought a ticket has also become a part of that team in a special way. Thank you for riding shotgun with us and showing my dad he never has to fight alone!

Stay tuned to this blog in the next week or so for details on what happens next and what you can expect! Many thanks to all of you!

Where are my shotgun riders?!

We all know what "riding shotgun: means.  We all have been in a position with a group of friends where we've "called shotgun" and beat someone to the passenger seat of the car so we could ride in the front. So riding shotgun pretty much refers to the practice of sitting alongside the driver in a moving vehicle. What you may not know is that the expression comes from  the days of stagecoach travel and was derived from the term "express messenger".  It seems as if "riding shotgun" wasn't coined until 1919 and was often used in print and film depiction of stagecoaches and wagons in the Old West in danger of being robbed or attacked by bandits.  The person riding shotgun would sit next to the driver with a shotgun or rifle to provide an armed response in case they were threatened.  Recently, and most importantly, the phrase "shotgun rider" has been more specifically used to refer to giving actual or figurative support to someone in a situation; watching their back.

 *****

 

When I was trying to come up with a name for my team last year, it didn't take long. I knew it had to honor my dad. I knew it had to be unique. I knew it had to have something to do with Tim McGraw. My parents and I love Tim and always see him live when he's in town. We have for many years.  In 2004, his song, "Live like you were Dying" hit Number One on the charts and that summer, the three of us saw Tim live.  When he sang that song, it was emotional right from the opening lines:

"He said: "I was in my early forties,

With a lot of life before me,

And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.

I spent most of the next days,

Looking at the x-rays,

Talkin 'bout the options and, talkin’ ‘bout sweet time."

I asked him when it sank in,

That this might really be the real end?

How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?

Man, whatcha do?

An' he said: "I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,

I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.

And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,

And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."

And he said, "Some day, I hope you get the chance,

To live like you were dyin'."

 

So, I thought maybe I need to incorporate that song into my team name somehow. But nothing came to me. It just didn't seem to work. Then...... it hit me.

 

At the time, Tim had released a new song called "Shotgun Rider". From the minute my parents heard it, they fell in love with it. It's a perfect love story for them.  They can't imagine not being together.

"Roll, won’t you come roll with me slow, fast, full speed

Girl, wherever sweet time takes us

Hang, with me down this old road

Only God knows where we’ll go

Don’t matter long as I’ve got your love

 

I don’t ever want to wake up,

Lookin’ into someone else’s eyes

Another voice calling me "baby"

On the other end of the phone

A new girl puttin’ on her makeup

Before dinner on Friday night

No I don’t ever wanna know

No other shotgun rider, beside me, singin’ to the radio

Slide, slide over nice and close

Lay your head down on my shoulder

You can fall asleep I’ll let you

Dream, life ain't nothing but a dream, don’t wanna be

Cruisin’ through this dream without you."

  

It's also a perfect name for my team to honor my dad. From the minute he was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 1996, my mom and I have been by his side. Every time it has recurred, we've been right there by his side. When someone I love is threatened, I delve into protecting them. I research, I go to doctor's appointments, I ask questions, I suggest options. Doctors are human beings. They are no different than the rest of us except they chose a different career path. I respect them but I also will challenge them if I don't agree with them. We are responsible for our own bodies and health and it is up to us to be informed and knowledgeable. Ultimately, we are in control. Doctors guide us and hopefully, it's in the right direction. Dad was fortunate enough to have an incredible oncologist, Dr. Katcher, who unfortunately retired December 31, 2014. When Dad's cancer returned again, it was very upsetting to not have Dr. Katcher on the case but we are so fortunate and blessed to have Dr. Moorer pick up where he left off!


I can't take my dad's cancer away. I can't take my dad's pain away. I can't take his medicine for him. I can't do his treatment for him. There are things I can do though and I will do them the best way I know how. I can love him. I can support him. I can listen to him. I can arm myself with knowledge and do my best to help him and the doctors.
But all of that didn't seem like enough. I needed to be productive. I needed to feel as if I am helping; making a difference. I needed to focus on what I could control so that I didn't downward spiral into a depth of emotional solitude. That is why I decided to participate in the ZERO walk for the first time last year.


There is no where I'd rather be than by my dad's side, riding shotgun, supporting him and battling prostate cancer with him. I've got his back now and always. No matter what happens. Each person who joins the Denny's Shotgun Riders team also makes that commitment and shows their support as one of his shotgun riders as he fights prostate cancer yet again. We've always been there but now it's about physically showing it. Being one of Denny's Shotgun Riders means that we've got his back. It means we love him and we will do everything we can to support him through this battle. I, honestly, can't imagine anywhere I'd rather be.


Thank you to Mary Anne, Jason, Maurine, Brian and Melissa for being a part of  the Denny's Shotgun Riders Team again this year. Also huge thanks to Sarah for joining the team for the first time and constantly showing her support in so many ways. 


There is still time for YOU to join the team and show your support for my father and for helping us put an end to prostate cancer! We'd love to have you!! Just click the link below and sign up today!

 http://zero.convio.net/site/TR/RunWalk/RunWalk16?team_id=1043&pg=team&fr_id=1082


No one should ever have to fight alone!

Know your why

How would you feel if one of your best friends - the first man to ever love you, who loved you before you were even born and who continues to love you unconditionally - is helpless? What if his life changed in an instant and there was nothing you could do about it?  What if he's been used to fighting for the last 20 years but this time is the worst of them all. This time there may no be no recovery. This time it may not be a matter of strength and perseverance.  This time life as he knows it will never be the same. We've tried everything and while it may be working it comes with terrible consequences.

How would you feel if you watched him struggle at normal everyday tasks? What if he can't enjoy the simple things in life like tasting and chewing food without pain, walking down the hallway without feeling like he just ran a marathon, not being able to take the trash out, not being able to take a shower without a fear of falling - those same things and much more that we all take for granted on a daily basis. We continue to complain and we are perfectly fine. We have no idea how good we've got it. He seldom complains but deserves to tenfold.

We all know cancer is horrific but chemo is just as evil. Often I don't know which is the lesser of the two evils.  When the cancer is being eradicated/managed and then, in the process, chemo also destroys everything that is good and healthy, how is that fair? Wasn't cancer enough of a nightmare? Must the effects of the treatment compound the nightmare? After all he's been through, why does he now have to endure the hellish effects of chemo? He stopped chemo two months ago because his body could not take any more and yet he is still miserable - the chronic fatique, chemo-induced neuropathy, chemo brain/fog, pain and frustration. He is STILL suffering 24/7.

People have told me, "At least your dad is still here." Yes, you all are right. I am aware of that and do not think for one second that I am not grateful for his presence every single day, but he's not the same. The new normal is not fun or even bearable. My mother and I feel completely helpless. All he wants is to feel better and normal again. What if he never does? What if this is life from now on? What if this is as good as it gets?

We'll it's not good enough for me. He deserves better.  (My mother also deserves better.) He didn't get drafted and sent to fight in a senseless war where he was shot, saw his friends killed and survived just so prostate cancer, courtesy of Agent Orange, could rob the best years of his life. His retired years - the years he earned after working almost 40 years and providing for his family - should be celebrated and embraced right now.  This is the time in his life where he and my mom should be enjoying themselves every single day without a care in the world. But that is not the case.

That's WHY I'm passionate.
That's why I joined ZERO in 2015.
That's why I'm holding a fundraiser for a second year (even after the first one almost did me in.
That's why I went to the ZERO Prostate Cancer Summit and spent all day on Capitol Hill a few weeks ago bringing awareness and advocating in front of Congress to raise/maintain funding for prostate cancer research.
That's why I beg men to be proactive and demand a PSA test.
That's why I spend Father's Day walking in Arlington donned in a hat and shirt and carrying a banner - all with my dad's name on it.
That's why I annoy people and stay on top of them to make a donation.
That's why I am constantly promoting my Denny's Shotgun Riders fundraiser and urging people to buy tickets and attend the event.
That's why I have been spending all of my spare time racing all over my county and adjoining counties to solicit and pick up donations.
That's why I will NEVER give up.

I don't want other men to suffer and endure the prostate cancer nightmare like my dad has for the last 20 years.

You may think "Oh, prostate cancer won't affect me." Maybe you think you're too young. Maybe you think no men in your family had the disease so you won't. Maybe you are healthy and perhaps even in the best shape of your life. Maybe you get routine physicals and have even had normal PSAs. All of those things can change instantly. If you are a man you are at risk. Why? For the simple fact that you have a prostate. Don't be naïve. Don't blow it off. A simple blood test could save your life. It saved my dad's life 20 years ago.

Please take a moment do one/all of these things:

Join Denny's Shotgun Riders and participate with us at the race on Father's Day. You don't have to run. You can walk. It's also a family-friendly event so bring the kids and the dogs! It is a morning event so you can still spend the day celebrating with the men in your life on their special day. Start it off right with us!
http://zero.convio.net/site/TR/RunWalk/RunWalk16?pg=team&fr_id=1082&team_id=1043

Send me a message at valamoore@yahoo.com and ask for my mailing address so you can send me a check for your fundraiser ticket. Or wait until the night of the event and show up at the door. You'll have to pay $5 more (after April 9) but guess what? That $5 will come directly to me for ZERO. No one will be turned away!

Make a donation to my fundraising page:
http://zero.convio.net/site/TR/RunWalk/RunWalk16?px=1102458&pg=personal&fr_id=1082

In today's world, you should definitely be concerned about where your money is going. I know I am. Rest assured that ZERO will use your money wisely. I wouldn't be part of this organization if its practice were otherwise.  It usually takes 10 years for one drug to get approved through the FDA process. There were three prostate cancer drugs that were approved over the last five years and guess what? My dad has been able to benefit from all three of them!! That is just one thing that ZERO is fighting for and getting done!! A fellow ZERO volunteer/friend of mine lost her dad to prostate cancer after 14 months of being diagnosed. Because of ZERO, his family is helping to stop others from having to go through the same nightmare their loved one did. We're making a difference in lives but we need your support!! If those drugs had been available when Paul was diagnosed they may have helped him and he might still be here. We are on the cusp of incredible and exciting things but we need your help!!

The next time you see one of my posts on Facebook or you get an email from me asking to make a donation or if I ask if you're coming to my fundraiser, don't roll your eyes and think, "Is that ALL she thinks about?" because, right now, the answer is "Yes, it is." If it was your father - or husband, or son, or nephew, or uncle or grandfather or friend - or even YOU, you'd be (hopefully) batshit passionate just like I am.

I will never apologize for my obsession.
It's about my dad's life.
It's about all male lives.

Know your why.
I sure do.

Let's get/stay healthy!

There are so many avenues to take when it comes to health and wellness. I like to think that I have a good array of those options represented at the fundraiser this year. Here's a glimpse of what you can expect to see in regard to businesses who will be represented.

Soaring Spirit Yoga Studio
http://www.soaringspirityogastudio.com/

Nancy, at Soaring Spirit Yoga Studio, is the epitome of the essence of yoga - the practice of being present in the moment! There's no reason to dwell on the past or worry about the future. Embrace the present in a welcoming and supportive place right in the town of Occoquan! A variety of classes and workshops are offered for beginners and seasoned yogis!

 

Reiki Master Session
My parents and I moved to Dale City when I was two years old and it's really the only home I've ever known. One of the instant friends I made at such a young age was a creative and loving little girl named Sunday who lived across the street. I am blessed to say that she and I have remained friends our entire lives and she is someone that my parents and I can always count on!

I have always been in awe of Sunday, ever since we were kids, at her natural and free-spirited nature. Her artistic and creative talents (as well as her younger sister's) were also something I admired, and still do. Sunday started Reiki training about 16 years ago and I had no idea! In my search to find something to help Dad with his neuropathy, I reached out to Sunday about a month ago to see if she could help.  Dad's first Reiki session was a few weeks ago, he was very pleased, and the sessions will continue.

Sunday has always been interested in natural healing and she's used crystal therapy, color therapy and simple tea and herbal remedies. Her spiritual/religious life is centered around the idea that all things are made up of one thing-that God is actually part of everything.  The idea of Namaste - that the divine in me sees and honors the divine in you - is one of her favorite things. She started using crystals and prayer to send healing to her friends who she knew needed it. Becoming a certified massage therapist made it easier for her to practice Reiki. For a while, she also joined some of her old religious mentors in a hands-on healing prayer group. It was then that she presented Reiki to them and explained that in her mind, it was the same thing.

While Sunday sometimes combines Reiki with massage, it is often just energy - energy flowing through her into the world, focusing on one person/place that needs it. She has even helped children, and clients with severe injuries and chronic terminal illnesses like cancer and fibromyalgia.

 

"I do it because there is so much hurt in the world - so much pain and loss and sadness. If there is anything I can do, anything that can make it even a little better, and even for one person, then I want to do it."

-Sunday Frey

It is with great honor that I am happy to say that my dear friend is offering up her Reiki services to help others through Denny's Shotgun Riders!!

 

Health and Nutrition Services by Sarah
I met Sarah a few years ago when she was waitressing at Giorgios. She instantly became a part of our family! How excited she and Mom were when she was assigned to my mom's school for her student teaching stint! While I am so incredibly proud of her for following her dreams of becoming a teacher, I am even more proud of her for taking a hold of her health and her life and improving it for the better! 

Sarah had always been a fit teenager - active in sports and walked everywhere. Her senior year of high school she stopped playing sports and bought a car. She stopped taking care of her body but continued to eat junk! College brought on the Freshman 30 and waitressing added another 15 pounds. She was 24 years old, 200 pounds, suffering from depression and had multiple health issues. She knew she needed to change her life.

On March 23, 2015, she was invited to quite a few beach trips and really wanted to go so by way of her sister she bought the Beachbody 21 Day Fix Extreme. She has been able to keep her weight loss going and health journey consistent through the Beachbody programs. She is now in great health and is happier than she's ever been, Most of all, Sarah wants others to realize the misconceptions about eating/dieting and help them truly realize how healthy they can be. My sweet Sarah is such an inspiration!

"I can't imagine feeling the way I used to and anyone can do these programs. I feel so great every day and there is no reason that everyone else shouldn't feel this good! How could I keep the secret to health and happiness a secret? I definitely feel good because I'm working out, but I know I feel even better because of messages I get from others! I'm helping people get themselves back on track by investing into the most important project of all - THEMSELVES!!!"

- Sarah Grimm

Fit 4 Pole
http://fit4pole.com/

Pole Dancing, you say? Get it out of your system. Go ahead. Giggle. Guffaw. Whatever it is.
Done now? Good. Pole and conditioning classes are a great way to have fun and stay fit! Lucky for us, Meaghan is an awesome teacher, avid Crossfitter and didn't hesitate to go to the owner of Fit4Pole to see if she'd be willing to help raise money for putting an end to prostate cancer!

Meaghan grew up a competitive dancer and wanted to get back into the world of dance somehow, as well as help develop her Crossfit strength. She stumbled upon one of the studios she still trains at and has been in love with the world of aerial dance (pole, lyra/hoop) ever since.  Meaghan is going into her fourth year of aerial dancing and she couldn't be happier with the community, as well as the results it has given her mind and body. 

 

"The art of pole and lyra gets a bad rap within society mainly due to common misconceptions around our art, but it is not only an empowering community for women (and men), but it has given ordinary ladies who never would've considered participating in this sport, a new found sense of worth, despite their figure, background, and/or physical abilities."

 -Meaghan Bresnan

Want to get fit and have fun? Then you'll want to bid on the gift certificate for a party from Fit4Pole which will include up to 10 of your friends! The party will include 1.5 hours of studio time to include mingle time, chair/exotic dance instruction and pole dance instruction! Instruction sessions can be tailored to your preference and additional time can also be purchased by the winner of this item. No need to be nervous or scared - Meaghan will take great care of you! I just need nine more people! Let's do this thang!

 

 

Stay tuned to this post because more health, fitness and wellness items will be added in the next week or so.