Know your why

How would you feel if one of your best friends - the first man to ever love you, who loved you before you were even born and who continues to love you unconditionally - is helpless? What if his life changed in an instant and there was nothing you could do about it?  What if he's been used to fighting for the last 20 years but this time is the worst of them all. This time there may no be no recovery. This time it may not be a matter of strength and perseverance.  This time life as he knows it will never be the same. We've tried everything and while it may be working it comes with terrible consequences.

How would you feel if you watched him struggle at normal everyday tasks? What if he can't enjoy the simple things in life like tasting and chewing food without pain, walking down the hallway without feeling like he just ran a marathon, not being able to take the trash out, not being able to take a shower without a fear of falling - those same things and much more that we all take for granted on a daily basis. We continue to complain and we are perfectly fine. We have no idea how good we've got it. He seldom complains but deserves to tenfold.

We all know cancer is horrific but chemo is just as evil. Often I don't know which is the lesser of the two evils.  When the cancer is being eradicated/managed and then, in the process, chemo also destroys everything that is good and healthy, how is that fair? Wasn't cancer enough of a nightmare? Must the effects of the treatment compound the nightmare? After all he's been through, why does he now have to endure the hellish effects of chemo? He stopped chemo two months ago because his body could not take any more and yet he is still miserable - the chronic fatique, chemo-induced neuropathy, chemo brain/fog, pain and frustration. He is STILL suffering 24/7.

People have told me, "At least your dad is still here." Yes, you all are right. I am aware of that and do not think for one second that I am not grateful for his presence every single day, but he's not the same. The new normal is not fun or even bearable. My mother and I feel completely helpless. All he wants is to feel better and normal again. What if he never does? What if this is life from now on? What if this is as good as it gets?

We'll it's not good enough for me. He deserves better.  (My mother also deserves better.) He didn't get drafted and sent to fight in a senseless war where he was shot, saw his friends killed and survived just so prostate cancer, courtesy of Agent Orange, could rob the best years of his life. His retired years - the years he earned after working almost 40 years and providing for his family - should be celebrated and embraced right now.  This is the time in his life where he and my mom should be enjoying themselves every single day without a care in the world. But that is not the case.

That's WHY I'm passionate.
That's why I joined ZERO in 2015.
That's why I'm holding a fundraiser for a second year (even after the first one almost did me in.
That's why I went to the ZERO Prostate Cancer Summit and spent all day on Capitol Hill a few weeks ago bringing awareness and advocating in front of Congress to raise/maintain funding for prostate cancer research.
That's why I beg men to be proactive and demand a PSA test.
That's why I spend Father's Day walking in Arlington donned in a hat and shirt and carrying a banner - all with my dad's name on it.
That's why I annoy people and stay on top of them to make a donation.
That's why I am constantly promoting my Denny's Shotgun Riders fundraiser and urging people to buy tickets and attend the event.
That's why I have been spending all of my spare time racing all over my county and adjoining counties to solicit and pick up donations.
That's why I will NEVER give up.

I don't want other men to suffer and endure the prostate cancer nightmare like my dad has for the last 20 years.

You may think "Oh, prostate cancer won't affect me." Maybe you think you're too young. Maybe you think no men in your family had the disease so you won't. Maybe you are healthy and perhaps even in the best shape of your life. Maybe you get routine physicals and have even had normal PSAs. All of those things can change instantly. If you are a man you are at risk. Why? For the simple fact that you have a prostate. Don't be naïve. Don't blow it off. A simple blood test could save your life. It saved my dad's life 20 years ago.

Please take a moment do one/all of these things:

Join Denny's Shotgun Riders and participate with us at the race on Father's Day. You don't have to run. You can walk. It's also a family-friendly event so bring the kids and the dogs! It is a morning event so you can still spend the day celebrating with the men in your life on their special day. Start it off right with us!
http://zero.convio.net/site/TR/RunWalk/RunWalk16?pg=team&fr_id=1082&team_id=1043

Send me a message at valamoore@yahoo.com and ask for my mailing address so you can send me a check for your fundraiser ticket. Or wait until the night of the event and show up at the door. You'll have to pay $5 more (after April 9) but guess what? That $5 will come directly to me for ZERO. No one will be turned away!

Make a donation to my fundraising page:
http://zero.convio.net/site/TR/RunWalk/RunWalk16?px=1102458&pg=personal&fr_id=1082

In today's world, you should definitely be concerned about where your money is going. I know I am. Rest assured that ZERO will use your money wisely. I wouldn't be part of this organization if its practice were otherwise.  It usually takes 10 years for one drug to get approved through the FDA process. There were three prostate cancer drugs that were approved over the last five years and guess what? My dad has been able to benefit from all three of them!! That is just one thing that ZERO is fighting for and getting done!! A fellow ZERO volunteer/friend of mine lost her dad to prostate cancer after 14 months of being diagnosed. Because of ZERO, his family is helping to stop others from having to go through the same nightmare their loved one did. We're making a difference in lives but we need your support!! If those drugs had been available when Paul was diagnosed they may have helped him and he might still be here. We are on the cusp of incredible and exciting things but we need your help!!

The next time you see one of my posts on Facebook or you get an email from me asking to make a donation or if I ask if you're coming to my fundraiser, don't roll your eyes and think, "Is that ALL she thinks about?" because, right now, the answer is "Yes, it is." If it was your father - or husband, or son, or nephew, or uncle or grandfather or friend - or even YOU, you'd be (hopefully) batshit passionate just like I am.

I will never apologize for my obsession.
It's about my dad's life.
It's about all male lives.

Know your why.
I sure do.